Cancer, Dogs, Elk Run, Friends, Health, Shadow Mountain

The Dark

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A bit of a kerfuffle right now over Shadow. Nashay, the caregiver who described the dangers of the dark-bears, racoons, rabid foxes-with such quavery passion refused to take Shadow out. l protested. She said nobody would take her out. Devolved into her “calling her supervisor.” Who has not showed up. Gonna be a bigger issue as we move toward Samain, then the Winter Solstice.

Telehealth call has me a little anxious. How far has my cancer advanced? Could be minimal; could be a lot. Affects my longevity.

Lunch with Ginny and Janice and two of their friends from Milwaukee. One of them, Janice’s former student at the University of Illinois at Champagne-Urbana, has become a well-known costume designer. Looking forward to it.

Feeling a little down today. Nashay, whom I dislike. The only staff person here I don’t like. Since she’s my assigned caregiver on certain nights… Then, come to Jesus time about cancer. As well as selling my house and still in the midst of unpacking, settling in.  A lot. Glad I’m talking to Tom today and having lunch out.

 

Cancer, Health

Cancer

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Got up late yesterday.

Had a visit from my palliative care nurse sub, Claire. She brought along a nurse practitioner transitioning to palliative  care from the ICU.

Bless their pea-picking bureaucratic hearts the folks at Optum believe I’m doing so well I don’t need palliative care. Peculiar since I still have stage 4 metastatic prostate cancer. It’s not going away. Complimenting me while denying me benefits. Bad insurance company. Take a time out.

The nurse practitioner gave me a new formula for recovery from a hospitalization: a week for each day. Even discounting rehab a bit because I did get out of bed some, that formula suggest months of recovery. In addition she and Claire corroborated that recovery from the pneumonia itself takes months.

These comments were meant to reassure me that I was still on the upward arc of recovery. I appreciated them. I tend to focus on what’s still troublesome-weak legs, wonky balance-and forget where this journey started.

Had my petscan. It will tell the tale about my cancer status. Telehealth visit with Christina tomorrow  for the results.

Elk Run, Fourth Phase, Judaism

Hannah

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Hannah. A slender, tall African woman. Always friendly, helpful. Came into my apartment yesterday and began enthusing about my books. Bemoaning the books she’d left behind. Said she spent her paycheck on books. “I never thought I’d see someone that loved books as much as I do.”

When she told me she spoke French, I asked what country she was from. Nigeria. She came here for college, her father paying. He died just after she finished her second year. Put stop to college. Her marriage then was young. She stayed here. Fifteen years ago.

She looked at my books, pulling out favorites like Chaucer. “Oh, this one is funny. I think Shakespeare got some ideas from him.” A shame a woman of her intellect had to settle.

Then, “Oh, you have the Torah.”

“Well. I’m a Jew.”

She stopped for a second, “So am I.” Hannah keeps a kosher house and has raised her children as Jews. Her parents converted before she was born.

We were both amazed. Book lovers and Jews. That’s a strong connection. We agreed to do something around Hannukah.

In the odd way of senior care, later that evening she helped me get dressed for bed. Which involved me getting briefly naked. No problem: caregivers role.

Thus endeth Monday.

Cancer, Elk Run, Shadow Mountain

Elk Run: Week 2

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Shadow got to play with Annie yesterday morning. Ginny came to pick her up. When she got home around 1 pm, she laid down and went to sleep.

Took two naps yesterday. A sleepy Sunday. Tried to watch a football game, but the buffering stopped that. When I went in for my second nap.

Got started on documents necessary to list my house. Colorado likes forms, lots of them. I’ll be on that today as well. The house sits empty, deep clean today, painting tomorrow. Staging follows. Showings. Then a contract. May it be soon.

With the house ready to go on the market and my Long Term Care claim underway, I’m moving closer to eliminating the two most complex issues I have right now. Well, cancer, too.

Pet scan this week, Wednesday, telehealth with Christina about  it on Friday. See where things are now. Decide on next steps.

A lot of change since July 1st. Here’s yet another shout out to Mary, Joseph, Melissa, Tom, Ginny and Janice and everyone else who has supported me. I’ve needed every bit of support.

Dogs, Elk Run, Friends, Health

Now

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All the book boxes have been unloaded and their content shelved. Thanks Ginny and Janice. This means my living room has begun to take shape. The chairs have been moved back so there’s more room in front of them, yet enough space to access my books.

Ginny will pick up Shadow sometime after nine for doggy time with Annie and Luna. Shadow has a chance to run, visit friends. I’m grateful for that.

Still very weak, but as Janice pointed out, “Yes, but consider where you were two months ago.” Two months today I had just gotten out of rehab, tripped coming into the house, and felt like I should have stayed in rehab. So, fair enough.

I can navigate with the cane. As I said, stamina and leg strength are priorities. In rehab the standard line for recovery had a formula: 3 days recovery for every day in a hospital bed. Roughly 3 months for me. This is the end of month two. As Janice rightly pointed out, I’m much further along now than then.

Dogs, Elk Run, Friends, Health

Hearing

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Settling in at Elk Run. Until the place gets put together, a while yet, that process will continue.

It will take longer to settle in with the people. In part due to a fundamental problem–poor hearing. In the dining room the clank of glasses, rising and falling chatter, the ping of silverware on plates, makes hearing a challenge. It also interferes with thought. Hard to think with all the noise. As Mike said, waving his hands over his ears, distressed, “I can’t think with all this.”  Bothered me, too.  As a result, we often trail off mid-sentence, giving over our conversations to the chaos.

Shadow seems happy. She likes her walks, her times with Annie, and playing with me.

Alan and Joanne came by yesterday. We spoke of many things. The marginalization of creativity; whether an AI doomsday await us all, my doggie. It was a delight to have them here.

Stamina sucks. Need to workout in long hallway. Thighs are weak. Strengthening my legs and increasing stamina: priorties.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Elk Run, Fourth Phase, Friends, Health

LTC policy

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Big event of the day. I filed my claim with Allianz. Long Term Care policy. The initial intake took about 45 minutes. Chronic illness? Prostate cancer. Trouble with activities of daily living, aka ADLs? Showering. Dressing. Other questions. These were the important ones.

Allianz now sends queries to Elk Run, Visiting Angels, Sue Bradshaw, Dr. Bupathi. At some point a decision gets made. Often a first denial, sometimes a second, then my financial people will step in. Help me.

Once approved there’s a 90-day waiting period before payment begins. That means I have to pay for Elk Run on my own for at least three months.  I will get a check covering all of Visiting Angel’s invoice. The LTC policy will also cover my bill at Elk Run. Can’t wait.

Carol, my physical therapist, came by for our last visit. As I mentioned before, her entire department, Mt. Evans Home Health Care, got axed. Announced only three weeks ago. September 30th is her last day. I snuck in as a last patient to be fully discharged.

Exercise has been hard to keep up as I learn a new routine, have visitors, and remain fatigued. I need it though or I will never dig myself even part way out of the deep hole left over from my medical July. Note to self: do it.

The cardboard wall of book boxes behind me has vanished like the Berlin Wall. Ginny and Janice. Many boxes remain; many have left the building empty. Closer and closer to moved in.

 

Elk Run, Friends, Judaism, Politics, US History, World History

Ginny and Janice. Rabbi Jamie.

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Yesterday. A flurry. Ginny and Janice came. Their usual work ethic. Opened about half the boxes in my living room. Books on shelves horizontally. I look forward to organizing them. Lot of action.

Rabbi Jamie came by. We talked about his Alaska trip. The final days of his sabbatical. The Top of the World highway. Rough enough it shattered his rear window. Hearing and seeing a Golden Eagle launch itself into the air. Visiting Wrangli-St. Elias National Park which some compare to Switzerland. Except the park is bigger than Switzerland!

Also talked about the why of my move to Elk Run. Safety. The shock of pneumonia, then rehab. How weak I remain.

Asked him about his talk I missed, Judaism After Gaza. His main point: American diaspora Judaism shaped its post-holocaust self through Zionism focused on a safe place for Jews. Israel. And expected it to be a liberal democracy.

It was. For awhile. Of late its right wing factions have turned it into a dominant military power willing to exert itself through hostile, brutal acts in Gaza, the West Bank, Lebanon, and Iran.

Its actions have divided American Jews. That division and how it plays out over the next few years is Judaism After Gaza. At least in the U.S. Not clear what it will be like.

Later, beef stir fry over rice. A quiet evening.

Dogs, Elk Run, Friends, Judaism

Polynesia?

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Yesterday we had the last cookout for the year. A Polynesian theme. If you call tikka bar themed decorations, paper leis, and fire dancers Polynesian. Not my thing. The former elementary teacher, Marsha, though leaned toward me and said, “We’ve got a lot of action today!” Different strokes.

Working my regular zoom calls into the breakfast schedule: 7:00 to 8:30. Makes things tight for an 8 am call. Probably going to a 9 am MT start time. Depends on others.

Ordered Starlink yesterday. Only 100 mpbs available in Evergreen. Should be adequate. Also ordered a new duvet. Thinking winter.

Braelynn did my laundry. Nashay helped me get dressed for bed. Both of them walked Shadow. Good people. The staff here.

Discovered that Michelle, head of health services, served as a nurse for Kate. She remembered Kate’s signature red glasses, her J-tube wound, and how lively she was. She also remembered me as Kate’s caregiver. Mountain world is a small town.

Ginny picked up Shadow for a playdate with Annie. A chance for her to run, play. At least once a week. Ginny and Janice also opened and cleared out six boxes, when they brought Shadow back. Coming this morning to help some more. My sisters from another mother.

Rabbi Jamie’s coming by this afternoon. First time I will have seen him since he got back from Alaska.

Elk Run, Friends

Visitors Three

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Three visitors: Rich Levine, Melissa, Robin.

Rich came to reconnect. “From the neck up you seem to be in good shape.” True that. I haven’t seen Rich since rehab.

He participated in a class designed for professors of honors classes. He teaches at the Colorado School of Mines.

He spent four days learning to observe, to know a space. Each night, after having walked a part of Philadelphia, he had to write up his observations, often up to 12 pages in length. Sounds like a lot of fun to me.

We’re going out to breakfast next week. Test my stamina. He’s also bringing a power of attorney form. When I sign it, either he or Joseph can handle my affairs if I’m incapacitated.

Melissa came by after he left. She had business in Evergreen. This was our first meeting when she wasn’t my employee. She offered to help me unload books. I said ok. Maybe this weekend.

Robin ended the visitors for the day. She came with news that my upstairs main level needs repainting. A neutral color. Oh, joy. Today packer’s come for items going into storage. Tomorrow movers. Storage unit, yet another expense, is in Evergreen. Not far from here.

Wore me out. Not that that’s hard.