assisted Living, Fourth Phase, Shadow Mountain

Slow Down

Leave a comment

On an up note. Bowels seem to be calming. What a relief. To do: buy more veggies and fruit.

Robin came yesterday. The things I want to take with me. This chair in which I write each morning. Stickley chair with wide, wooden arms. Two arts and crafts standing lamps. Two arts and craft table lamps. All four done in stained glass. Revolving book stand. Large arts and crafts bookcase. Art. Will depend on what kind of wall space. TV, mounted. Books.

There will be other things of course. Silverware and dishes. That Bresnahan ceramic. A few odds and ends. I plan to buy a new, full-sized bed. Shadow’s food, bowls. Toys.

All this relies on a positive analysis from Bond and Devick concerning my ability to absorb the costs even without long term care insurance.

Robin measures everything, tries to make it all fit while maintaining flow. I’ll find out next week what she’s discovered.

I’m excited, more than ready. A new, slower, more contemplative life, more reading, writing. Contact with friends and family.

There will, too, be the Dopy Don show. Now featuring gauche architecture, lots of gilding, a 747 as a gift. Is it corruption if you just do it?

Fourth Phase, Health, Politics, Shadow Mountain

Such a fine sight to see

Leave a comment

Tired of dealing with an uncooperative gut. Constipation. Hard to get regular. Water torture. Never lets up. Always I need to go. I need to not go. Only comfortable position lying down. Since April with occasional break throughs of normalcy. Don’t understand why I can’t resolve it.

Affects sleep. Get up to deal. Head to bathroom, back to bed. Maybe not returning to sleep right away. The two together? A recipe for feeling down. World is too much with me, late and soon.

When it came time yesterday for my Buphati appointment, I couldn’t do it. Realized I have not been on the stairs since returning home. Also, transition from car to office. By walker. Oxygen levels held steady by my new Inogen, Portable oxygen concentrator. Which I have yet to use. Too much. Canceled. New appointment with Christina two weeks from now.

Cancer. Bah, humbug.

Robin comes today to get started on clearing out the house for the final time. We’ll discuss what goes with me. Her long experience will prove useful.

Talked with Matt Bachus yesterday. (realtor) We agreed I need to have a clear understanding about Elk Run costs over against my available income and other resources. Nothing with him can advance without it. After next week’s annual review.

Dopy Don and the Islamic Republic of Iran. What a fine sight to see. Golden wig. Golden toilets. Prayer mats and mosques. Oh, my Allah!

 

Fourth Phase, Health, Shadow Mountain

Shifts and Changes

Leave a comment

Shifts and changes. Mary will probably leave on August 31st. She’ll return to late winter in Melbourne. Three months of kindness. She’ll be missed.

Joe and Seoah will come sometime in September. I might have already moved by then. Depends on my retirement projections which I have not yet seen.   And/or a successful conclusion to my long term care adl conversation. Many matters to determine before then.

Meanwhile Mary and I have established a twice a day workout routine. 20-25 minutes. The only way I’ll improve. Slow, but steady. I have a long way to go.

A period of transition. From living alone. From living on Shadow Mountain. I feel ready.

The broader world is in transition, too. Gabe moves out of his mom’s to a dorm on the Regis campus. A freshman. Ruth starts her junior year, halfway through undergrad.

The days grow shorter, heading toward equal night and day around the vernal equinox. We’re in my favorite time of year. Harvest. Steiner’s springtime of the soul. Samain. Summer’s End. The beginning of holiseason. Its high holiday IMHO, the winter solstice.

The land down under, Oz, follows a different path. Instead it expects spring, the start of the growing season.

Rich Levine and I go see Dr. Bupathi today. Update on my cancer and my participation in the trial. Important stuff.

Family, Fourth Phase, Shadow Mountain

Curating a Life

Leave a comment

Mary goes up to the loft, sits on the deck, and watches the sun rise most mornings. A ritual. Glad she discovered it. She also likes to look at the mountains.

She’s also raving about the book, Kingmaker. About Pamela Harriman who played a prominent role in both British and American politics including pushing Bill Clinton into the presidency. Buddy Mark Odegard also found it a fascinating read.

Things are moving regarding Elk Run. Realized I need to check the wi fi and cable. May need to see if I can install my Starlink over there.

On Tuesday Robin comes and we’ll start deciding what I can take to Elk Run. Not much compared to what’s still in the house. A couple of chairs, my Arts and Crafts stained glass lamps, a fancy coffee table. TV. CD player. Some CD’s. A highly curated selection of books. Some art. Pared down clothes. Maybe my new desk top if there’s room.

I’ll have to buy a new bed since our king sized one would take up way too much space. Probably a full-size to give Shadow room. Maybe a new night stand. That’s about it. A certain amount of furniture, books, art will go into storage. The rest Robin will have to find new homes for. Or, dispose of it.

I’m excited about the paring down process. What matters most comes along, the rest leaves my life for good–with the exception of the things in storage.

Fourth Phase, Shadow Mountain

Home

Leave a comment

Hot times. Even on Shadow Mountain. Had the mini-splits turned to cool as the heat infiltrated my normally cool lower level.

Arjan got home yesterday evening. From the east coast. Tara was already here, having flown in from visiting Vincent in NYC. A full house. We talked and laughed. Nice.

There’s a feeling, still below the surface, of a time ending. Tara and Arjan will leave for their Costa Rican adventure on the 21st. Mary will go, too, at some point not far away. Leaving Shadow Mountain to Shadow and me.

Got my property analysis, price point for selling the house. Good work. Moving on to next stages. I’ll make a lot less than I would have if I sold around the time I considered moving to Hawai’i. Maybe two hundred thousand. Doesn’t bother me. I’m not trying to maximize my result. There will be plenty of money even at this new price.

I’ll move out, either late September or October, to Elk Run. Then, Robin will work with Matt to clear out the house, stage it, and sell it. I hope there will be some movement on the long term care policy by then. If not, I’ll be ok. Better if the LTC pays Elk Run and my money can accumulate. But not necessary.

You might think I’d be sad about leaving Shadow Mountain. I’m not. Like our Andover property it has served our needs for twelve years. I’ll remember it positively. An important location for home.

Home is where the heart is. Always made sense to me. This heart, this lev will change physical locations and create a new home. Looking forward to it.

 

Fourth Phase, Health, Shadow Mountain

Homecoming

Leave a comment

OK. I’m remembering. To write. Routines are off after getting home from rehab so I’ve forgotten Ancientrails.

Tara and Arjan have moved in. They’ll be here until later this month. Nice to have close friends in the house. Gives Shadow an in-house playmate. A good thing.

Mary and I have begun the lower body exercises Carol (p.t.) suggested. Twice a day. Next week Liz (o.t.) will add upper body work. I have a steep path forward. My motivation remains high. I’ll need it.

I find freedom in routine. Sounds paradoxical, right?  I need time already committed to exercise or write. Otherwise, like the last couple of days, I forget. The press of the daily sops up time, leaving none. My routines have been thrown off, way off by all the medical folderol. Trying to reestablish them.

Being at home with Mary, Shadow, Tara, Arjan makes me feel safe. I also enjoy having access to my own things. Books. Remotes. Streaming channels.

Even so, the transition home has had its significant difficulties. How do I maneuver a walker in the tight space of my bathroom? How do I get out of bed? Mostly how do I navigate life with severe physical weakness? Not unexpected, but hard.

 

 

 

General
Leave a comment

Sorry, folks. Asleep at the switch on Shadow Mountain. Awake now. Yes, woke! Why wouldn’t you want to be awake to reality?

On the theme of first harvests. I’ve been home just over a week. The adjustment has been difficult. So many ways to trip up, so many places I can’t go. Like upstairs. Even so. What a glorious feeling to be in my space with Mary and Shadow.

Exercise has outsized importance in my life. I have to get stronger. Better balance. More flexibility. It’s a fair distance from where I am now to a more functional body. No short cuts, either. Twice a day, every day. Also, because I had pneumonia, I have two devices that strengthen my respiratory muscles. A lot of huffing and puffing.

Working on the ADL’s. Is there a creative way to make me certified for a second one? After shower help. Maybe. Paul and his son-in-law Patrick, who is an occupational therapist, have some good ideas.

 

Meanwhile Dopy Don continues to wrack up puzzling and random policy decisions. Berate an attorney general for following the facts in the Olympian versus the reflecting pool. Claims he’ll restart the victims fund for those convicted of insurrection related crimes. Only the biggest investigation and prosecution in Federal history.

Fourth Phase, Health, Shadow Mountain

Twisty

Leave a comment

Life has gotten a little twisty. I want to move. But. I need the Long Term Care policy to activate first. Problem: to activate it I need to require assistance with two ADLs, activities of daily living. I do need assistance now with showering. That’s one ADL. Coming up with a second one? Not so much.

In this case you get penalized for retaining your independence. Not a great system of reward and benefit. Not sure where this leaves me. I knew all of this when I contacted Robin of Spacewranglers and the realtor, Matt Bachus. I knew it when I put down money to hold the one-bedroom unit.

The piece I didn’t know was this: not being able to cook and having a person’s assistance with all that entails does not count as an ADL. It’s an instrumental activity, whatever that means. Joseph was sure it was an ADL and I listened to him without checking. My bad. It sure seems like needing assistance in getting food should qualify which is why I didn’t question Joe. He was being logical in an illogical situation.

Anyhow. I’ll figure out a solution. May mean staying here on Shadow Mountain a while longer. Not a terrible result.

I’m in a gray zone between full independence and needing enough help to trigger the policy. Weird.

 

Speaking of weird. Interesting headline in today’s NYT: In Iran, The U.S. Appears Headed for a Strategic Defeat, Allies Fear. Gee. Vietnam. Afghanistan. Not a great track record since the 1960’s. It’s hard to be an effective imperialist today, eh?

Which leaves us with a question, how would a defeat in Iran play in our current domestic politics? I’m not sure. You would think, since Iran belongs solely to Trump, that he and his party would suffer in the upcoming mid-terms. May it be so.

But Trump has a way of wiggling out of responsibility if things have gone sour. Let’s hope that won’t work in this case.

Family, Fourth Phase, Friends, Health, Shadow Mountain, Weather +Climate

Back At It

1 Comment

A cool morning on the mountain. Another Colorado blue sky and sun day ahead. Lughnasa and Mabon, the harvest period of the Great Wheel, make 16 weeks of often Goldilock’s weather. Not too hot, not too cool. Some precipitation, but not too much.

That is. This period used to be like that. Still can be, of course, but more and more what would have been mid-Summer heat intrudes. As does smoke from the burning boreal forests of Ontario. We’ve missed the mark. By a lot.

Been having a fun haiku experience with Joanne Greenberg. She suggested a haiku conversation. She writes one and sends it to me. I have to use the sense of the last line in mine. Back and forth.

My profound weakness continues to surprise me. Getting up from the bed is a challenge, even when using both arms for leverage. Same with my chair. It’s easy for me to overdo. Crossing the room to get a book, or let Shadow outside, can make me glad to sit down.

In spite of that I feel good. Engaged. Called a realtor yesterday. Lined up Robin of SpaceWranglers to oversee the process of clearing out the house. She helped me when I thought about a move to Hawai’i. Trustworthy.

I’m going to try to pull all this off in 60 days. Yesterday I put a 60 day hold on the one-bedroom at Elk Run. If I can’t get the house cleared and sold in that time; or, if we run into snags on the Long Term Care policy, I’ll probably have to stay here for the foreseeable future. Not a terrible prospect.

Got back in the saddle. Making those arrangements, paying some bills, getting my dues for CBE. Felt good to flex those muscles.

Mary will be here through August. Joe and Seoah plan to come in September. Hopefully I’ll be on my way to Elk Run by the end of that month.

 

 

Family, Fourth Phase, Health

End of Summer

Leave a comment

Almost to Lughnasa, the festival of first fruits. Loaves of bread made from the early wheat harvest. This is the time it begins  to feel like fall is not faraway though summer lingers in warm days and cooler, longer nights.

It’s also the time when Colorado schools start up again. Ruth starts classes on the twentieth. Gabe moves into the dorm at Regis around the same time.

Lughnasa is a time of preparation, getting ready for the main harvest in September, getting ready for a new year of learning. A transition between the growing season and the fruits of it gathered in.

On my part this year I’m looking at a move to assisted living, putting a finish to a long run of living in my own home(s). First house in Appleton, Wisconsin. Then Minneapolis, St. Paul (3), Andover, Conifer, Colorado. Happy to leave home ownership behind. Let somebody else have their chance.

Still adjusting to life at home with a walker, mobility limitations, significant weakness. Neither easy nor fun. Had a minor fall last night. Not a big deal. But. My legs weren’t strong enough to stand me up. Had to leverage myself onto the bed. High degree of difficulty.

Good to be home though. Shadow, my books, chair, TV. The comfort of the familiar.

Joe’s in the air on his way home to Korea. Mary’s planning to stay through late August. We’re investigating a person to come in the morning, at noon, and around bed time. Would be very helpful after Mary leaves.

I tire easily, don’t have much oomph in general. Exercise and good food. That will change.